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 [toby] Only Fools Fall
Kitsune
  • 23 yrs
  • Adores
  • Toby
You know, my real name isn't Panini...
Posted On: Jun 5 2017, 08:49 PM
◥◤ The steady beep of the monitor, indicating that his heartrate was beating at a steady rate, was the only sound that could be heard in the hospital room. Jeriah had been sleeping for nearly a week, now... and there was no sign of him waking anytime soon. His family had come to see him, make sure that he was okay. It was touch and go... The impact against the water saved his life... but, the sudden stop of his body, at the velocity that he was going, still did a number of internal damages to his body. He had compound fractures, and a concussion that was most likely the source of why he still wasn't waking up. Thankfully, his organs were still well, no severe internal damages that wouldn't be able to heal with time... however, the most damaging and worrisome was the concussion...

And the fact that... he still wasn't awake.

A week passed, and no signs of him waking up meant that they had to consider some things. Perhaps the damage was more extensive then they thought. A week, and they had to maybe think that, perhaps, this would go on for a longer period... and maybe... he wouldn't wake.

There wasn't a doubt that many of his friends and family refused to believe that reality. To them, Jeriah was practically indestructable. He was able to face challenges headon, and come back with maybe a few cuts and bruises, but always smiling. He was the one that smiled no matter how hard the work was, no matter the effort he had to put in. Jeriah wasn't going to give up so easily. No... he was a fighter, determined to keep going. At least, that was what they thought, what they knew about him. Who knew exactly what he was actually thinking?

There was the shifting of another body next to his, but Jeriah didn't notice... didn't even give an indication that there was a semblance of consciousness there. The one next to him was curled in a ball on the chair, the only one who seemed to refuse to leave him there alone... Sure, his family had been there, and his sister was there every day to visit... but, this one, he refused to leave, even as the hour grew late. He was the one that he had saved.

A moment passed, and Jeriah's breathing changed just slightly. There was a momentary hesitation in his breathing that made it sound like he almost held his breath. The breath released, not as easy as before, and his brow knit his lips pulling thin. Then, another breath, and they parted, his teeth clenched as his body grew tense, his fingers twisted in the sheets. A nightmare... it was a nightmare... but it was waking him up. "N....No..." he practically gasped the word from his lips before suddenly sitting up, with a jolt, eyes wide, his hand grasping at his chest, at the lines there, connected to his skin. A sheen of sweat was on his skin as he glanced down at the lines connected to him, the hospital gown he was wearing... "What..." he pulled at them, confused, disoriented, panicked. He couldn't find the right words he wanted to say, his mind a jumble of confusion between this reality and the one in his dreams, the one that told him that he hadn't saved Toby.

-- I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid I haven’t been alive enough
Human
  • 21 yrs
  • TAKEN
  • PANINI
What a lonely world.
Posted On: Jun 5 2017, 10:29 PM


Please wake up.

At least a thousand times a day did that thought cross his mind, a soft whisper in his head pleading to whatever higher powers there were in the universe to pull Jeriah through the horrible thing he caused. It was just compression fractures. It was just a concussion. The latter was more severe than the former, but they said he would recover. They said he would be just fine, that he was lucky the water was there to impact his fall, but they said those things a week ago. A week. He was still asleep. A week later and Jeriah was lying still on the bed, the beeping of the monitor the only real indication he was fighting death.

Toby hadn't left his hospital room the entire time. He absolutely refused. Momo brought him some clothes and urged him to shower and eat. Honestly, if she hadn't, he probably would have starved to death or become a patient himself. Sleeping on the little couch adjacent from Jeriah's bed was difficult and incredibly uncomfortable, even with the added pillow and blanket for support. He supposed part of that had to do with his right arm being in a sling after his shoulder had been dislocated from Jer stopping his fall. Now, he stood beside the bed and watched his face, repeating to himself, This is my fault. This is my fault. Please come back. Please take me instead.

With a shaky breath, he shifted into the chair beside the bed, closer to Jeriah, curling up in it and resting his head against the pillow propped between him and the arm rest. Sleep was difficult for him knowing that Jeriah was in a coma because of his own actions. He didn't have to save Toby, he didn't have to sacrifice himself to make sure he was safe. Tears briefly pressed into the corners of his eyes and he fought them away, pressing his face into the pillow to force himself to sleep a little bit.

Minutes passed in near silence.

Jeriah's breathing pattern changed, but it was the slight shifting of his body against the bed that tugged Toby out of his exhausted stupor, lifting his head and blinking sleepily at the small amount of movement. Is he... is he awake? He shifted, craning his head to look at him a little better, jerking back in his chair and sucking in a sharp breath of surprise when Jeriah suddenly jolted up. He stared in shock for a moment. He's... he stumbled over his thoughts and his words, watching the kitsune fumble and panic and pull at the lines on his chest, ...awake...? He stood from the chair carefully, "J...Jer..."

With his good arm, Toby reached out and tried to stop his hands from pulling the lines off his skin, but ended up just grabbing one of his hands. His eyes were full of tears. "J-Jer, stop, I-I-- I don't th-think the nurse w-would appreciate y-you pulling those o-off..." He was trying so hard not o tremble, not to fall apart in absolute tears and sobs and apologies. This was his fault. This was his fault.

But before he could even stop them, the tears were rolling down his cheeks. "I-I was s-so scared th-that you weren't g-going to wake up...."

Kitsune
  • 23 yrs
  • Adores
  • Toby
You know, my real name isn't Panini...
Posted On: Jul 20 2017, 07:13 PM
◥◤ Jeriah never actually experienced true panic before... not on this level or scale. The only time he'd actually ever truly panicked was when he was without Imogen, and thought that something had happened to her. It took Imogen a good while to bring him down, and reassure him that she was fine, that nothing happened. Each time his mind tried to divert down another path of restlessness, Imogen would take his face, and tell him. "Eyes on me, Jer. Eyes on me." And, his eyes would have to focus on her. With eyes on her, his mind didn't wander as far. With his attention on her, restless thoughts were silent against those eyes that stared back at him.

But, Imogen wasn't there, and Jeriah couldn't remember what happened, and didn't understand what was going on. Why was he in a hospital? That was where he was, right? Did something happen? The only thing he could think of was Toby. Was Toby okay, did something happen to him? His breathing was erratic as he pulled the lines from his body, the monitors beeping in protest, unable to get a reading from the lack of contact. His chest and torso hurt... God, even parts of him were bandaged. What happened? Why was he here? Endless questions, too quick and fast running through his mind for him to comprehend them all. It felt as though he were having a heartattack - was this what they called a panic attack? Where was Toby?

A hand on his, and the kitsune finally managed to let his eyes travel somewhere other than his form in the bed. There was a room. He was in a room. His vision wasn't clearing, though. Panic made his vision tunnel, but, he recognized that voice, could see him slightly. "Toby..." It was Toby... He was trying to stop him from pulling off the leads, but, Jer still couldn't fully comprehend. He choked on his breath, his hands trembling. "A-are you okay? W-What... Wh-ere..." It was getting hard to breathe, and he bent forward, his chest heaving with uneven breaths as he tried to calm himself. There was too much going on, too much stimluation from too many sources. It felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest. Toby. Toby. Was Toby okay? That was all he needed to know.
-- I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid I haven’t been alive enough
Human
  • 21 yrs
  • TAKEN
  • PANINI
What a lonely world.
Posted On: Jul 22 2017, 05:38 PM


Tobias couldn't help but feel at fault for this entire thing. Why was he the way that he was? Why was he so depressed? Why did he hate himself this much? Maybe if he had done this sooner, then maybe Jeriah wouldn't have met him, and maybe he'd be okay... maybe he'd actually be happy. Toby didn't see in any possible way how he could make the kitsune happy, no matter how perpetually pleased with life Jeriah seemed to be. He never thought it was him. How could someone like him be the cause behind someone else's happiness?

At a loss, Toby did what he thought he could do, scrambling to hold the man's hands and pull them away from the wires as he started yanking them off. Monitors were beeping, sounding angry that he was tampering with their ability to do their job, and he knew the nurses would be trying to pin him down in any way they could to get him to calm down. "J-Jeriah--" His own tears cut him off as he tried his best to handle the situation, trying to think of something, anything to get him to come down from his increasing panic, and then he remembered what Imogen had told him once. That if he'd ever panicked, she'd tell him something and he'd calm down.

Without a clue if it would work for him or not, he let go of Jeriah's hands and gently cupped his cheeks, swallowing the lump in his throat before saying firmly, "Jer-- eyes on m-me." He didn't know if he could do it. His voice cracked and faltered as he tried to say it again, "I-I'm right here, Jer, e-eyes on me. Eyes on m-me." Over and over again, he prayed it would help calm him down and he could hear the nurse start shuffling into the room to see if everything was okay. "We're at the h-hospital. I'm fine. I'm... not hurt." Never mind his throbbing shoulder, the sling hanging from his arm, sore as hell after the dislocation was fixed.

Toby continued to murmur it, trying to change his line of focus, "Eyes on me. Eyes on me."

Kitsune
  • 23 yrs
  • Adores
  • Toby
You know, my real name isn't Panini...
Posted On: Sep 3 2017, 11:06 AM
◥◤ What could Jeriah remember? His eyes moved past Toby, the image of the rooftop appearing behind him, the small figure standing on the ledge. His breathing escalated as he felt that similar feeling of panic that happened when he had seen him standing there. He had tried texting him, excited for him to meet him up on that roof, because he wanted to watch the fireworks with him, and show him the night sky, because, as silly as it seemed for someone like him, he was just really into stars lately. The last thing he expected was to find Toby standing on the ledge, ready to… There was an almost hollow look in his eyes as he saw the body drop from the ledge, and his heart dropped at the same time. His body lurched forward, but, before he could cause more damage to the equipment that tried to do their jobs, two hands landed on their side of his face, and brought his eyes to their face.

“Jer, eyes on me.”

There was a moment’s pause, because so many things just happened at once. The voice that spoke those words wasn’t just Toby’s voice. There was another that echoed those words, as if she was standing right behind the smaller male, her hands right over his as they held him there, rooting him in place, bringing him back to reality. He wasn’t back at the rooftop. He wasn’t about to watch Toby jump… No, those were all things of the past. He saved Toby. Look, he was sitting right in front of him, holding his face, desperate to bring him back to reality, to show him that, Hey, look, I’m okay. His breathing started to even out, as his eyes focused on Toby. Right… he was right there, right in front of him.

Again, the words were said, and her voice was a soft echo, not as strong. Her hands slowly slipped from Toby’s, because, he didn’t need her there anymore. She wasn’t the only one who could bring him back to reality, anymore. As much as Jeriah seemed the tough sort, Imogen was always the one that would look after him, protect him. It was when they were older, did Jeriah outgrow her, and stand in as that protection… but, that didn’t mean that she didn’t still stand for him. More than anyone, Imogen was there for him… until now.

Her presence was completely gone when Toby repeated the words, though, now, he didn’t need to. “Toby….” He breathed his name, his hand coming up to the one that cupped his face, fingers wrapping around his hand and wrist. He forgot how much smaller Toby was than him. “You’re okay…” The complete relief and gratefulness in his voice conveyed the entirety of his emotions. “Thank god… You’re okay.”

-- I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid I haven’t been alive enough
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