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 I'll Be Okay, Vixen
Faefolk
  • 21 yrs
  • Pining For
  • Harvey Masters
I think I need help, I'm drowning in myself
Posted On: Nov 10 2016, 12:43 AM


Head pounded. Oliver rubbed his temples idly and gave a scowling glance up towards the sun that shone brightly overhead. It almost seemed mocking, not-so-gently reminding Oliver that he made quite a few poor choices the night before. "Fuck," he groaned under his breath. As much as he didn't feel like giving anyone the opportunity to see him in such a condition, staying in all day wasn't much of an option. Even though he didn't have classes, staring at the same four walls was wearing on him- reminding him of what he'd done while under the influence. What he'd almost done. So he'd taken his time to fight past his horrid hangover headache, brushed out his hair, and made himself look acceptable. That took longer than it needed to because of Oliver's high standards. The result made it almost impossible for most to tell he was suffering that hangover. Most of course left room for those who knew him better. People he didn't want to see at all.

"You're so stupid," he uttered to himself gently. The words could have been empty, but he meant them with every fiber of his being. Oliver hated himself often, though never more than when he thought too deeply about Harvey or professing his emotion to the other man. It was far too much to dwell on. Luckily it was too hard to dwell on anything far too much with the way Oliver's head kept pulsing. Small blessings, he thought bitterly. Sunlight danced through the clouds and aggitated Oliver's head, prompting him to shuffle about unhappily. He may not have looked pleased, but at least he felt beautiful regardless. Oliver pushed his hair over his shoulder and felt the soft curls tickle at his neck. The gentle pressure of his hair was a constant reminder that spoke different things depending on how he was feeling. Pleasantly enough it only serve to remind him that he had a beautiful feminine quality for the moment. All of the inner turmoil could do it's best to tear him apart, but Oliver could hold to the beauty he had cultivated and use it as a shield.

The spiderweb of pain throughout his skull from his headache nagged a little. Oliver sighed out his pain and walked towards a bench outside the dormitory that was blessedly cloaked in shade. The cool metal of the bench was almost as soothing as not having the sunlight glaring into his eyes- he couldn't help but lean back and let the base of his neck rest on it. Cell in his hand. Oliver rolled his head so he could look at the horrible little device, internally grimacing. The last call was still the drunkdial he'd done the other night. Less than a minute long and it had almost ruined everything. Funny how that worked out, he thought with an unamused expression. "Uhg," he groaned and stowed the phone, "I hope this day ends fast."
Werewolf
  • 21 yrs
  • TAKEN
  • WANTED AD
Ah, fuck it.
Posted On: Nov 27 2016, 08:43 PM
don't let one cloud obliterate the sky
What did he mean by that? Harvey stared at the screen of his phone as his skin air dried after the shower he'd just taken, wondering if he'd heard everything from Oliver correctly. The fae hadn't said anything specific and perhaps his drunken ramblings were simply that, but it was enough to leave Harvey's heart racing the next morning, something he would've vehemently denied in front of other people. The wolf knew exactly how he felt, yet he remained hidden, petrified of what would be done to either of them if he stopped hiding the truth from the people around him. He loathed the idea of hurting Oliver, but it physically hurt to be with others with the knowledge of how he felt about the fae in the back of his mind.

Harvey sighed and dragged his hands through his hair, slightly damp, before standing to dress for the day. He tucked his phone into his pocket, followed by his wallet, and made the split decision to waltz down to the campus' coffee shop before trying to track his friend down. The line wasn't very long, even if they were busy, they typically got through it pretty quick. He bought what he needed and went on his way, back to the dorm commons. If Oliver had been as drunk as he sounded the night before, then he was in need of some kind of pick me up, and there was a chance he was still tucked away in his dorm, nursing a hangover. But by the time Harvey reached the grassy area with trees plotted here and there between the massive dorm buildings, he spotted the familiar form with lovely long, pale blue hair.

One cup of hot coffee clutched in each hand, Harvey strolled across the grass at a leisurely pace until he reached the bench where Oliver was sitting, standing in front of him. "Judging by that look on your face, seems like this could help that hangover of yours." He gestured with the cup of coffee in his hand, stepping aside to settle next to Oliver on the bench, holding out the cup he knew would have the fae's favorite caffeinated beverage within, waiting a moment for him to take it. "It's your favorite. You seemed to be having a blast last night. Are you feeling all right now?" Harvey paused to take a sip of his own drink, reveling in the slight burn it left in the back of his throat.

lol words
Faefolk
  • 21 yrs
  • Pining For
  • Harvey Masters
I think I need help, I'm drowning in myself
Posted On: Nov 29 2016, 10:02 PM


Maybe given a few hours of quiet, albeit with birds and idle student chatter as they roamed, sitting there in the shade he could have felt a little better. The weather was nice, the cool bench had already done a small amount to reduce the pounding. Alas, Oliver did not have hours. He hardly had a few minutes of calm to center himself before someone approached and he felt as if he might choke on his own breath. Of course it was the very last person he wanted to see (or maybe the very first person he wanted to see, Oliver could never quite tell) holding a coffee as if there was nothing awry in the slightest. It could have been a comfort. It wasn't.

Straightening up awkwardly, Oliver reached out when the beverage was offered and wrapped both hands around it as if that would keep him safe from doing something unsavory. Busy hands, he thoughts silently. The sound of Harvey's voice always made a little piece of Oliver quiver and weaken- it was the same reaction he had when he spent more than a moment looking his friend in the eyes. There was a wealth of years trying to be friends under Oliver's belt and he knew the weight of what his mistake had almost cost him. Everything he'd been working at for so long could have crumbled in a moment. The terror didn't leak into his voice as he uttered, "Who says I have a hangover? Maybe I just look like shit today because my true self is seeping through the mask more than usual." His expression was disinterested as he tore himself down, as it usually was when he took shots at himself.

Oliver watched from the corner of his eye as Harvey took a drink, he tried not to get too worked up about the encounter even though it seemed nigh impossible. Following his friend's lead so he had a few more moments to contemplate what he could say, Oliver took a long drink and sighed appreciatively. For all the trouble, there were times when Harvey could be... kind. "I'm fine, really. Thanks for..." his voice trailed off and he motioned to the coffee. What he'd said on his drunk dial was still on his mind, and it had to be on Harvey's as well to some degree. It was hard to tell what Harvey thought these days.

Eyes cast down, Oliver tried not to look too disconcerted. That too was a hard enough task. A wave of self-hate washed over the long-haired man as he considered his actions. Getting drunk was something Harvey would do, it was never something Oliver was particularly good at. In fact he didn't usually drink much at all, just wanted to escape for a night. A single night of not thinking endlessly about the person he wanted and how hard he tried to be radiant to lure him. It was disgusting and made him feel ugly. "Sorry about the other night, I was- well, I just didn't feel like being sober. I won't do it again though so you don't have to lecture me or anything."

It was almost passive aggressive, but it wasn't outside the realm of possibility. Things were strained between the two on the best days, and Oliver knew Harvey didn't particularly want them to be as close as they were when they were young.
Werewolf
  • 21 yrs
  • TAKEN
  • WANTED AD
Ah, fuck it.
Posted On: Jan 4 2017, 12:15 AM
don't let one cloud obliterate the sky
Harvey could only help laugh a little at Oliver's words, amused in the way he said it. The werewolf had been through his fair share of parties so far, he knew exactly what a hangover looked like, and, to be frank, he still knew Oliver pretty well. He could tell, whether by voice or sight, when the fae wasn't doing as well as he might've brushed off. "I know what a hangover looks like, and your true self looks very nice as usual." A passing comment, but he wondered where it had come from. In moments of incredible denial, the wolf felt himself attracted to the beauty of his friend still, not just on the outside.

He shook his head a little and took another few gulps of the coffee in his hand, trying to sort through his thoughts. How confusing. He didn't even know how he felt about it. "No problem. Coffee helps." The longer the tense silence passed between them, the more he wondered how badly he'd managed to fuck this whole relationship up. There were so many days Harvey would be laying in bed or sitting beside his "friends", wanting and lusting after the way things used to be, but he felt stuck in the mud, like it wouldn't let him go, like it wouldn't let him go back. Fear clogging up his throat before the words "I'm sorry" could ever slip from him.

"I... I wasn't going to. You can make your own decisions, you're an adult." But really, were either of them responsible enough to make good decisions about their own lives? Harvey himself could barely handle what decent relationship he did have left with Oliver, and he was watching it crumble without a clue on how to recover it. But he also didn't want to end up like his brother, so broken for the rest of his life, persecuted for who he loved. "And, hey, drunk calls happen, shit gets said... I try not to take it too seriously, you might not even mean what you say sometimes?" It was more of an awkward question than anything. He wanted to know if Oliver remembered what he'd said, meant what he was trying to say.

"But, uhm... I'm glad you're all right. But are you okay? Like, is everything else okay?"

lol words
Faefolk
  • 21 yrs
  • Pining For
  • Harvey Masters
I think I need help, I'm drowning in myself
Posted On: Jun 20 2017, 05:07 PM


Such an overwhelming part of Oliver shrieked at him, wanting to run back to his room and hide there until things felt less dreadful. The only thing stopping him was the fact that things weren't going to feel less awful judging by how it'd been going up until this point. Just looking at Harvey was probably always going to give him a wealth of complex feelings he hardly ever wanted to attempt working through. In fact, Oliver almost immediately went to pieces when he heard the way that Harvey off-handedly complimented him. ...your true self looks very nice as usual. It took actual effort to prevent himself from scoffing, but he did at least quietly mutter under his breath, "Doubtful." Not something he particularly wanted Harvey to hear in truth. Being hard on himself was certainly a way of life for Oliver, but that didn't mean he needed to watch Harvey clumsily try to deny something terribly obvious.

Kindness like an unexpected gift of coffee could still make Oliver's heart race and give him hopes that were far too dangerous. Sipping the drink helped him avoid talking overly much while he worked through the complicated mess of feeling. Suddenly the long curls of hair on his shoulders felt... heavy. Reminders of the resolution he'd made long enough ago that something should have changed. Maybe he was holding onto something entirely hopeless. All of those frustrations and doubts were beginning to give Oliver an actual headache on top of the hangover nonsense. "I guess... that you have a point. Not that... well I can't even quite... recall so. Maybe I meant some things, I don't know."

As soon as the words had left his lips he knew he was making a mistake. Whatever he'd said, which he truly didn't remember most of, was probably all concerning his overwhelming desires for Harvey. Gods forbid if he mentioned anything about how the one kiss they'd shared still made Oliver's lips burn when he thought about it. The continued press asking if he was 'okay' just made Oliver want to weep. Oliver clutched the cup in his hands a little harder and closed his eyes. "I'm managing, you know?" his voice was soft, almost fearful to say much more. Oliver didn't feel strong enough to handle a surprise burst of tenderness from Harvey when he'd managed so well to keep Oliver at an arm's length lately. Just as he got used to one thing there was something else making the strained friendship harder on the fae.

"I'm honestly sure you've got better things to do than sit here and mother me back to health though. You don't need to worry about me, it's probably just my class workload getting the better of me."
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